YOUR HEAD MIGHT be full of thoughts to do with cakes and
colour schemes but don't forget to consider which readings you will
have during the ceremony... and who will give them!
Readings are often a very important part of the service. They are a great way to
punctuate the ceremony, to break it up and add interest. Asking someone
to do a reading is also a good way to involve friends and family
members who are important to you, particularly if they don't have any
other duties, such as making a speech, to carry out. But choose wisely;
can you see him/her getting very anxious beforehand? You want this to
be an honour, a nice task, not one that's going to stress them out.
Have they got a good strong voice that can easily project to the back
of the room? Regardless, for very large venues a microphone can be
helpful.
Finding inspiration
It's easy to
underestimate the amount of time it can take to choose something that
feels right for both of you - especially if you're not
keen on the more traditional, heartfelt (read soppy) types of passages
that tend to keep popping up as suggestions. A good place to start is
your celebrant, who will normally supply you with a selection of
readings in some form or another. You could always ask the
person/people doing the readings to choose something they like of
course, but don't leave it as a surprise for the day! And consider
whether you would feel awkward if you had to tell them you didn't like
their suggestion. If you're looking for inspiration you will find
plenty of readings online - in fact you may find there are just too
many to choose between. It helps to narrow down what you're looking for
into subjects like love or friendship for example. Or perhaps there's a
writer whose work you both love and you might wish to start looking
through extracts from his/her texts?
Fitting in
Try to choose something that fits
the tone of the ceremony, if you're going for a very formal service
then a flippant humourous reading may seem out of place for example -
however, you might just decide a passage from Winnie The Pooh is
exactly what's needed to break the tension. Once you are happy with
your reading and reader, consider printing the words out for your
guests as this can be easier to follow than just listening to a voice.
Whatever you choose in the end, bear in mind that a reading is also a
good opportunity to express something from the heart that you, for
whatever reason, just wouldn't feel comfortable standing up and saying
yourself. It's also worth asking your minister or registrar to look
over any readings well before the actual wedding, just to make sure
they agree that it's appropriate. This is particularly important if
you're having a civil wedding as you're not allowed to include anything
with religious connotations. If in doubt, check - some people are
stricter than others.
TOP READINGS TIPS
- Anything at all can be used as a wedding reading - religious ceremonies often feature passages from the bible but you can also choose song lyrics, monologues from plays or films, famous quotes or extracts from your favourite books
- Many couples choose sonnets from Shakespeare or romantic poems from the likes of Shelley, but if you're looking for something more unusual or original you may have to dig deeper!
- Give readers plenty of notice and ask them, rather than telling them, to do a reading - it's not for everyone
- Remember that you have the power to edit down - maybe you like a few verses but not the whole of a poem or piece of prose. This also helps you keep the length down
- If you can't find one particular piece of writing that suits you, why not combine a number of quotes from various people that sum up how you feel about marriage, love or friendship?
- If you're feeling creative why not write your husband/wife-to-be a poem? If you would be too emotional or nervous to read it yourself, ask either the celebrant or a friend to read it for you
- Choose readings that strike a chord with you and it's likely your friends and family will feel the same way when they hear it
- Just because you're having a church wedding doesn't mean you're necessarily forced to stick to bible readings - ask your priest/minister what he/she thinks
- Try to choose a reading and reader that fit well. Make it something you can envisage that person saying; it won't work if somebody notoriously unsentimental is asked to recite a very romantic poem full of flowery language
- Just getting started? Have a read of 'Your Wedding Vows, Readings and Music: You and Your Wedding' by Carole Hamilton. Available from www.play.com, priced £6.99
